ONLY CONNECT
This is one of the saddest autism memes I have seen, because the evidence is that people learn so very slowly, if they learn at all, that autistic people seem destined to have their approaches to others misunderstood, rebuffed, and rejected. The common - and sadly persistent - mistake that neurotypical people make is to see autistic people as self-obsessed, monotonous, repetitive, professorial, and boring - always talking about themselves and their own interests, talking down to others, as if 'lecturing.' All autistic people can do is hope that people will cut them some slack and see that they are trying to connect with others by talking about things they know about and are passionate about. If you spend a lot of your time alone, if you have lived a lot of your life alone, of course you talk about yourself a lot. To rebuff autistic people on account of this is to condemn them to continue living alone.
Is it too much to ask people to just be a little more aware, more sensitive, more understanding of the way autistic people approach others in social encounters?
It would appear so.
How many times are autistic people expected to suffer the rebuffs of others before moving on?
I have a theory. It's like forward partnerships in football. You can tell fairly quickly where there is a chemistry, a mutual connection. It seems to be instinctive. You can tell early on when there is chemistry present. When connection becomes hard work and still shows little sign of improved communication, when misunderstandings continue, then you are better seeking connection elsewhere. My own view is that my best connections with others have clicked very early on; the connections I have laboured long and hard at have never - and I mean never - succeeded. You waste an inordinate amount of time and energy, only to find you are dealing with people who have made no effort at all at understanding and accommodation. Trust your instincts, and know a brick wall when you see on. You don't run through walls, you walk round them. At your ease.
