Infodumping

INFODUMPING

This meme defines 'Infodumping' so concisely that to add words by way of explanation risks drowning the key message. As an autistic person, I recognize the tendency of autistic people to say or write what neurotypical people would regard as "too much." There may be a number of reasons for that. Struggling with "normal" communication, autistic people may welcome the opportunities to engage with others grace of a welcoming environment, with others expressing an interest in one's 'special interest.' The sharing of one's views on or knowledge of particular subject is evidence that an autistic person is comfortable with another person. Having faced rejection and ridicule owing to 'pecularities' and 'oddities' of behaviour and expression, autistic people will tend to be wary of others, reserving communication only for those whom they like and trust. This sharing of information is widely understood to be an autistic 'love language,' the sharing being premised on the belief that the recipient is genuinely interested in the views of the autistic person, on account of actually liking said person. Lacking internal editors and filters, autistic people can speak or write in one continuous flow. If this can be somewhat challenging for the recipient, the challenge is as nothing compared to the struggles autistic people have to control and temper the flow in the effort to be understood. The internal controls that come naturally to others have to be imposed externally and consciously by the autistic person. All the time an autistic person is expressing a view or sharing information, he or she may also be trying to control the explosion and spread of information in the effort to make it comprehensible.

Neurotypical people who feel intimidated or uncomfortable when confronted by a mass of information need to understand how difficult it is for autistic people to control their flow of speech or writing. When communication is underway and is on a 'special interest,' autistic people will speak/write in an uninterrupted flow. The very worst thing for a neurotypical person to do at this point would be to throw the words back in the face of the autistic person. That would be understood as rejection by an autistic person and, depending on words and context, also scorn and ridicule, the type of which autistic people have experienced their entire lives. Worse, since infodumping is indeed an autistic 'love language,' it is akin to having a close personal friend turn on you. The autistic person will feel betrayed. The psychic and social consequences can be destructive, causing the autistic person to withdraw and isolate. Having trusted others and having had that trust betrayed, an autistic person will be disinclined to engage with others in future. That reinforces the tendency to see social others as uncaring and, frankly, somewhat oafish, people to avoid and keep at a distance. The upshot is that autistic people end up isolated, and isolating themselves, with the result that they lack the emotional and social support all human beings need. All because people are not prepared to make the slightest accommodation in their behaviour. Autistic people spend the bulk of their energy attempting to accommodate others: the least they are entitled to is a little accommodation in return. They receive little. Tell it like it is, in an effort to educate, and autistic people are abused as 'difficult,' 'rude,' and 'abrasive.'

I make no apologies for being 'difficult' and 'rude,' and telling people uncomfortable truths that upset the very high opinion they have of their often oafish selves. I've been abused - and seen autistic people abused - too many times to suffer abusers and their denials.

But, in the cause of education, I'll temper the language and make the effort to break the cycle of abuse and counter-abuse. But it is difficult terrain to negotiate, since there is some suggestion that there are two sides speaking an entirely different language. That black and white division is too sharply drawn, of course, especially in relation to a spectrum condition - but the conflicts here do indicate two very different approaches to communication. Autist scientist Temple Grandin expresses it this way:

This point that Grandin is concerned to make is somewhat indelicately phrased and is often taken out of context to dismiss most people as a bunch of social yak yaks. Like many autistic people, it is apparent that Grandin doesn't care for small talk. I have no doubt that she, like me, can be sat silently in social gathering, bored rigid by the superficial nothings that are being exchanged. It is worth underlining, then, that as social beings human beings require a certain yakking to create and sustain bonds between disparate others. This is not to be disparaged since, without it, there would be only an instrumental connection between people, at those times others are 'useful' in some way, as if they are no more than objects. There is always a danger of objectifying others, seeing them as vehicles of your special interests. Point made, then, autistic people tend to struggle at social yakking. In making the effort at communication, they will engage with others over interesting and substantial issues, something that yakkers can react violently to. Real harm can be caused on both sides. But if an autistic person is talking to you, you should know that they are showing trust and expressing some form of love; they don't do it with everyone and avoid general socialising.

Whilst Grandin argues that those autistic people who are able should learn to live in the neurotypical world, she insists that this process goes two ways. At present, it is autistic people who are making all the accommodations necessary to ease communication, with NT 'society' making none. Here and there, institutions make some adjustments, but not many (none that I am aware of, having sought them out). In my experience - informed by engagement with other autistic people and their experiences - NT members of 'society' are in the main not even aware of the problem, at best empathasising, as if autism is a condition to be ashamed of, offering 'reassurance' by way of inane and incorrect platitudes like 'we are all on the spectrum.' By implying that autism is nothing to be ashamed of, the speakers of warm and empty words repeat and reinforce the view that autism is indeed shameful. This is ignorant and harmful drivel based on the impairment model of autism. Autism awareness has moved well beyond this stage. Grandin's point is that autistic people have a unique perspective and unique abilities, from which the world can learn. To put the point with customary bluntness, autistic people have nothing to learn from "social yak-yaks," the education that is required is in entirely the other direction. That's if - if - NT others are interested in something other than social yakking. And that's a big 'if.' Some are, many are not. It's important to understand that these are two different, but not thereby mutually exclusive, things. There is a need for both. Some are interested in science and art, in knowledge in its many varieties. Here is where autistic people may well find an audience. Many are uninterested, communicating only to gather the group of like-minded others. I laugh almost contemptuously when I see such social yak-yaks routinely proclaiming how 'different' they are and how they don't 'fit in.' Autistic people, who are the archetypal square pegs, often consigned by 'society' to the margins, see right past the self-image and see such people as they are: comformist, predictable, same, homogeneous. Autistic people also know that it is precisely in being 'different' that they are a target for rejection and abuse, not least by such self-styled non-conformists. It happens time and again. Autistic people are expected to varnish the truth to keep the social peace, or just keep silent and accept their secondary status. If I do anything on this site, I encourage autistic people to speak up and stand up and reject pressures to censor themselves. People who attempt to control, censor, and compel your speech don't much like you anyway and only make such space available to you insofar as you accept a subordinate position. At the same time, I would caution autistic people to try to understand contexts, and know that when some people are discussing your 'special interest' they are not actually interested in the subject, only in yakking. Bring the artistic and scientific substance of the subject to such an audience and they will recoil in horror. It's a hard lesson for autistic people to learn. They are so used to being on the outside that all their lights are set to 'green' and 'go' when they finally see people showing interest in a subject they know about. They make the mistake of thinking the small talk is over, when it most definitely is not. Offer the yakkers the things you know, and they reject it - it's not information they are after, it's the connection, with subject matter mere grist to the social mill. Big talkers who enter the realm of small talk will quickly be consigned to the margins or cast out, or learn to remove and distance themselves.

Grandin's distinction between artists and scientists on the one hand and social yak-yaks on the other cuts to the chase. Whilst artists and scientists are both NT and autistic, the social yak-yaks making noises to gather the group are never autistic. The problems come when, as a member of the former group, you seek communication with the latter. It can be done, and I would imagine most people manage it. This is the part where autistic people can struggle, given issues of social communication and interaction. To state the point with 'customary bluntness,' autistic people tend not to do 'small talk.' Autistic people find small talk deadly boring; they find it incredibly hard work to join in saying nothing, merely making a social 'noise' to bond people together. Whilst autistic people are interested in the content of any subject matter, its significance, point, and meaning, 'yak yaks' merely use the subject to alert the group, attract their attention, and reinforce connections. An autistic person will seek to identify the point and analyse the details and their meaning. It's the way of art and science. 'Social yak-yaks' will immediately consider such behaviour to be disruptive, an analytical approach that threatens group harmony. For seeking a 'something' that lies below a surface-level 'nothing,' autistic people, like artists and scientists, will be deemed 'argumentive' and 'difficult.' The truth is that they are neither shallow nor inane.

Researchers speculate that autism is an extreme form of a "systemizing" drive that helps produce great science. Grandin draws a connection with art, too. It is the capacity to isolate oneself, specialize, and focus that distinguishes artists and scientists from yak-yaks. The pursuit of knowledge is a lonely one, and not one that a world full of extroverts with nothing to say would choose. It's probable that Temple Grandin didn't intend to dismiss all neurotypical people as "social 'yak yaks'" — since human beings are social beings, there is a need to understand the practical 'art and science' of yakking, too, if you desire connection and communication with others. Her point seems to be that the genes that cause autism in some may operate to some degree in artists and scientists, too, mitigating their social impulses and enabling them to focus and specialize in isolation from social pressures. Such people are the ones who are truly 'different.'

To return to the meme:

'Studies show that Autists respond to infodumping the way that Allistics respond to small talk, and vice versa, so if it bothers you, you have some small sense of how hard it is being an Autist listening to small talk all the time.'

The take home is this:

be careful and selective when it comes to lines of communication;

reach out in the spirit of mutual learning - be prepared to learn whilst offering others lessons;

understand the impossibilities of being all things to all people;

accommodate and adjust, and seek likewise from others;

try to find a place for yourself in the social world;

read context and audience and don't simply respond to subject matter - others' interest in a 'special interest' may well not be as substantial as yours, and may well serve an entirely different purpose, unrelated to the subject matter;

know the difference between 'art and science' on the one hand and 'yakking' on the other;

you will make errors of judgement, crediting people with being more authentic/less shallow than they are;

don't beat yourself up over miscommunications - a wretched secondary consequence of the autistic experience; learn a lesson instead and know better next time;

never allow the 'yakkers' to abuse you - correct them, see if they are prepared to listen and learn, keep away when it is clear they are not.

'The most beautiful woman in the world can give only what she has.'

Know who and what you are dealing with and adjust expectations accordingly.

Don't take your art and science to 'social yak-yaks,' they are not interested and will throw it back in your face. Just do some yakking yourself (and be prepared for being on the receiving end of jokes and put-downs as the price of being allowed to join in).

It is here where autistic people will make the biggest errors of judgement. When they see people they know talking about something that interests them, something they have a passion for and a knowledge of, autistic people will 'infodump' to their hearts delight. They learn the hard way that 'yak yaks' are interested in the socialising most of all, and the subject-matter not at all. Contact here never ends well; it is always a collision. Autistic people can be so excited to see their favourite interests being discussed, joining in the discussions eagerly; and horrified when they find the things they love so much are merely the means to yet another round of empty and inane yakking. Both parties end up abusing one another. Never the twain shall meet.

It is not merely that the generous sharing of information on the part of the autistic person is scorned, the relation that the autistic person thought he or she had with the other is revealed to be empty. The other to whom the autistic person opened up to via a 'love language' is revealed to be much less than loving. That's an abusive relation that causes autistic people to withdraw and isolate, losing the connection and support they need. And, the bitterest irony of all is that the rude other is the one who will portray the autistic person as 'rude' and 'argumentative' and 'difficult.' And will then go back to boasting of how 'different' they are. Such people are as safe, as conformist, and as predictable as they come, hence their love of social yakking. Whenever they are confronted with real difference, they turn tail and run. Have nothing to do with them once it is clear that they neither listen nor learn.