ANXIETY STRUGGLES
What you see is not always the truth. I can meet anyone face-to-face and bowl them over with my irrepressible personality, sparkling humour, intellectual brilliance, modesty, humility, the lot. And they will see no problem whatsoever. I've been getting it in spades this past year. I met with a woman who used to work for Remploy this year. She has an autistic son. I tried to explain about 'reasonable adjustments' at work and she pretty much said forget it, employers simply hire whoever can do the job and that I was highly confident, eloquent, communicative etc and had no issues. (The fact that she later said that she found me 'intimidating' might have told her something – I prepare hard for social engagements, take over, and have an answer for everything. Nice woman, still in touch. But, gee, people are really slowing in 'getting it').
Anxiety can seriously damage your mental and physical health. Don't ignore it or try to struggle with it alone but seek help.
I have experienced constant, relentless anxiety grace of struggles with an undiagnosed autism. Sad to say, diagnosis in 2021 has made no difference. 'Life' doesn't play ball. All that you can fight back with is greater self-knowledge. After that, a lot is out of your control and is down to chance and luck (it's no wonder that one of my most favourite books is Martha Nussbaum's "The Fragility of Goodness." One of the best parts of Martha's argument is that she insists that we refuse retreat and instead open out into relations with the world and others. That renders us vulnerable, but that's where the greatest riches in life lie.
Anxiety is a serious issue, though. Relentless anxiety in a world of chaos beyond control is debilitating and has had a serious impact on my health.
I'm lucky to be blessed with an indomitable sense of humour, though, and can still see the funny side of life.
I once joined an anxiety class. I'd actually gone along to an adult community college to check out the training for classroom assistants. We got chatting. My dad had just died, there was a sad mood. 'There's a lot of people in the same boat,' the nice lady meeting me said, proceeding to introduce me to the woman who was preparing to take the anxiety class. They were short of the numbers they needed to ensure the class could go ahead – the very next day. So I thought why not, I'll come to the rescue. And the tutor seemed very personable. I turned up and found I was the solitary male with four women and a female tutor. That's fine, I thought. I settled into my usual role as the class clown, being the most vocal and amusing member of the group, with an expert word to say on everything, including most especially the things I knew nothing of. A couple of weeks in, after a lot of descriptions of the physiological processes involved in anxiety, all that happens when lions pounce on you from behind bushes, the discussion turned to the effects of anxiety on the body, including male sexual functioning. We even had a handout to that effect. Which made me far more anxious than I had been upon embarking on the course in the first place. I tried to find one of my usual funny lines but for once words failed me in my now worried state. All the women were admitting to were insomnia and headaches.
Over to you. I just raised my eyebrows and looked around.
