People have asked me how I managed to go so many years without being diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Condition. I learned how to mirror and mask. I learned to see what others expected of me by way of behaviour and action on my part. I would do certain things because they were expected. Sometimes I would do them well. More often than not, though, I would just about manage to get things done to a fashion. Other times I would just plain fail at tasks and do my level best never to have to do them ever again in the future. Which is to say, as good as I became at mirroring and masking, I became world class at evasion and hiding. I put many things on the backburner, postponing them indefinitely in the hope that expectant others either wouldn’t notice or just plain forget. It’s hard to keep confronting a world that seems always to be rigged against you. And it is exhausting to have to be strong every day. You need a rest. You seek a place to hide, in order to recover your strength and go again.
‘It’s the same for everyone!’
It isn’t.
