I found this on the Asperger's page on Facebook. The post received extensive commentary, most of it short and to the point: most people with Asperger's had give up looking for work for their own peace of mind. I took screen shots of the many sad, despairing, hopeless responses. It is a private group, so I shall simply quote a sample selection of the responses. There is a consistent theme throughout the responses - stress and anxiety arising from difficulties in social interaction and communication. Many experience these difficulties as impossibilities. That really shouldn't be the case given all that we now know. Unfortunately, I see figures which indicate that only 16% of people with autism are in full-time employment, with only 2% of those doing jobs they enjoy and which fits their talents and abilities. Given that many neurotypical people will say the same about their own jobs, there is no wonder there is so much pessimism around in the AS community.
For my part, I continue to live in hope. Hope that one day efforts at finding work for people who want to work may bear fruit, and the potentials of people may come to be realised and their talents flourish. That productive engagement with the world is, I would suggest, an essential component of happiness. My experience tells me that generalized approaches will work only for those who most probably would have found employment anyway and the hard cases require a more personalized and tailored approach. I've been involved in the generalized approaches many times over the years and they always end the same way - with me endlessly chasing jobs that are not good for me, as is proven on the odd occasion I manage to land one of these jobs. Immediately, you are plunged into a stressful environment which involve you having constantly to negotiate stressful events and relations to others - confused instructions, switched tasks, endless reporting back to others. For those with Asperger's or ASC this is like doing two or three jobs at once, with the interaction and communication being the hardest part. I have been working with employment agencies concerned with helping those with health issues of any kind into work. I had been doing an inappropriate job, had quit, and had gone to a meeting to discuss employment options. I was asked whether I had any health issues. I was dumbfounded. Does nobody listen? Does nobody coordinate? My entire predicament, as I had detailed over and again, is explained by two chronic health conditions grace of a relentless, constant anxiety caused by an undiagnosed ASC. Now that that ASC has been diagnosed I am finding that there has been no change, making me even more despairing. I have now been told that I will be put in touch with the disability adviser and receive a personalised treatment. I am staggered. My AS Report states clearly that I am entitled to access the Disability Employment Adviser based at every local Job Centre. I asked to be put in touch with the disability adviser as soon as I received my AS Report. Instead, I was put on the Work and Health Programme, which involves a generalized provision. It is helpful if you approach them for help, which presumes that you know what you are doing and know what you are looking for. Such people who have such knowledge tend not to need help. The people who need the help are those attempting to coordinate several almost impossible demands at once, the people who don't see the way forward and need help when it comes to direction. And that requires a more personalized approach. I'm just learning of the "I Can Work" initiative in North Wales where I live. This commitment to 'workplace well-being' combines health and employment support for people with mental health needs, helping them to find and remain in employment. This may be the kind of thing I am arguing for. Generalized approaches don't work for the hard cases, the people whom, sadly, constitute the majority of the AS community.
As I wrote above, I took screen shots of the many people who admitted to having given up the endless search for work on the Asperger's page. I'll respect the privacy of those people by not posting the images. I shall, however, quote a representative sample of their responses to the query: "I wonder how many with AS have given up looking for work."
"Me"
A simple "me" was given by dozens of respondants. There's no more to be said, really. I gave up myself back in 2010. I find a little distribution job that paid little, but gave me a little independence and kept me out of harm's way (that is, out of the society of others). Given that I am highly qualified, this was tantamount to waving the white flag of surrender on the jobs front. I was resigned to never getting a decent job. It seems that many with AS go the same way. Such a waste of potential and talent, not to mention the way it consigns so many to frustration and unhappiness, is a scandal and an outrage.
But, yes: "me."
And "me, too."
"I don't know how to survive."
In other words, you need the regular income from employment to survive socially and financially, but employment can incite the constant stress that seriously impairs mental and physical health.
"I have never been able to reach my expected or perceived capabilities."
I have a PhD, a first degree with honours, grade "A" distinction at "A" level, a full set of ICT qualifications making me a Microsoft Office Expert User, a City&Guilds in Website Design, and teaching qualifications. So, of course, I spent years in distribution delivering papers and leaflets door-to-door. Mention that to people they will say that I should be doing better and that it is my own fault for not being ambitious and assertive enough. No-one so far sees the struggles with interaction and communication, the 'normal' parts of a job that neurotypicals take for granted and which people with ASC find so hard and so stressful to do.
"Me. If I didn't have a wife I'd probably be homeless because I can't hold a job due to my anxiety ..."
I held my job in distribution for over ten years. One very strong reason for that longevity, I would suggest, is that I had next to no dealings with others. I knew what needed to be done and was able to get on and do it without having to report to and take instruction from others.
"I stopped after my anxiety got the better of me."
"I can't work because of my autism."
I believe I can work - and have just held the same job for the last ten years and more to prove it. But there are certain kinds of employment that I can't cope with precisely because they involve uncertainty and spontaneity when it comes to interaction and communication.
"Trying to understand this better. Is it anxiety? Is it being expected to be psychic and know what task is next?"
The last job I had didn't last long. Every morning I went to work worrying about what the say had in store. Instead of knowing exactly what I would be doing I was having to report to a manager who would then issue a set of (incomplete) instructions, and then proceed to change them during the day. That is precisely the kind of thing that people with autism will find extremely difficult. I found it impossible and walked out.
A large part of the stress for AS people is caused by not being in control and hence not knowing what is to come. People with AS tend to be resistant to change and fearful of the new. I know I am. With respect to work, I struggle when I am called on to start another task without having finished the task I am working on. In many work environments, though, it is necessary to switch from one task to another more pressing one if a crisis arises. I have tremendous difficulty with that. In short time, the effort is exhausting. I also have a poor short-term memory, struggling to retain new information. I also find that new orders and instructions tend to be issued only the once and quickly, leaving gaps and ambiguities which I then start to fill and interpret my own way. The result is that I tend to do the job in entirely the wrong way. This, I believe, is a typical AS problem.
Further, I prefer to work alone rather than work with others. The presence of others can be confusing and unnerving, overlaying essential information with rafts of extra information. You find that even the threat of engagement with others exhausts the senses.
"Me. The whole thought of an interview makes me so anxious that it's not worth it. I can't deal with people at all."
Interviews were always high energy, high intensity experiences for me. Everyone, of course, has to prepare for an interview. This involves details of time, location, and presentation. It also involves fitting the job specifications to your own skills and experience. This is stressful enough for neurotypical people. For people with AS, however, planning and preparation is their normal condition. With job interviews they go into preparation over-drive, thoroughly draining their energies. And then there is the interview itself, meeting and engaging with strange others, making conversation, being questioned under pressure. And then comes the rejection. All that effort for nothing. It is a wholly soul-destroying experience. You keep returning because you have to, even though you know it is hopeless. When my mother died in 2006 one her friends confided in me how much my constant failure to land a job had laid her low. She felt that the strain on my mother, who internalized all my frustration and disappointment, contributed to her death from a stroke. I can well believe it. Anxiety is a killer. It nearly finished me off with a heart attack. I don't blame people at all for giving up and seeking peace of mind as best they can.
"I gave up looking for a job at 32 and am now trying to make my own work."
I gave up at 45 and investigating possibilities of e-tutoring.
Many others in the AS community see self-employment as the only way out.
"What are you guys doing as your own work? I'm thinking about doing the same."
I went to business school and earned a City&Guilds in Business. As for actually doing business, I was hopeless. I hated charging for my academic work. I am an idealist when it comes to ideas.
"I have never had a job and can't see myself having one."
"Yes, I quit after twenty years of trying. I had been pushing myself so hard and driving forward to prove my doubters wrong that I burned out and had a number of breakdowns and now suffer from poor mental and physical health."
I am far from being alone among the broken. I'm still standing, still pitching. I was proud of my "essential worker" status during Lockdown. Others may talk of being exploited in an otherwise unheralded job, saying talk - and easy applause on social media - is cheap. But, for once, my efforts were recognized and celebrated, making me a local hero for a wee while.
At the same time, I was well aware that for many years my low-grade job was a source of some embarrassment given my high qualifications, little better than the years of unemployment and underemployment that preceded it. It is awful having to live in the opinion of more successful others. It makes you feeling the need to justify your existence and validate your worth. You find yourself driving yourself beyond endurance to prove yourself in the eyes of others. And in the end you burnout. I've had breakdowns and I have gone down with not one but two chronic illnesses. All from ASC and nothing else.
"I can't work at all."
"80% give up according to real unemployment statistics."
I wouldn't necessarily tell people to give up. It depends. I would tell them to focus their energies on positive solutions and give up entirely on the wrong objectives. I knew fairly early on that my attempts to become a library assistant were not going to succeed. People told me that it was a common experience that attempts to find work meet with failure but that persistence finally pays off. I was also encouraged by the fact that I was getting interviews. But something felt wrong all along. Eventually, after some three years of attempts, I asked the head of libraries who rang to tell me of another rejection to level with me: forget the guff about it being a strong panel and how close I came - what was the real reason for the rejection. I was told that I came across as 'academic' and 'aloof' and that the panel felt that I would not be comfortable relating to the 'customers.' I would, in time, learn that these are classic ASC attributes. I had wasted my time and my energy, brought to the bring of despair and depression, and saw my mother go to an early grave under the strain. And rather than risk any of that, I would tell people to give up.
"It's very, very hard on me when I have to work around people."
In the anxiety class I attended early in 2020, the tutor asked what the main cause of stress is. The was a silence as people pondered. I said that "that's just got to be people." "Present company excepted, of course." I was right.
"I've never had a job and can't see myself having one."
"I'm about to give up on mine. The inconsistency and not being isolated from people all the time is driving me insane."
I gave up my last job for precisely those reasons. I was subject to new instructions daily, finding them subject to change during the day, and suffered from the presence of people all around. The latter is an interesting one, though. For the most part, it was the threat of people engaging with you rather than the few engagements that was stressful. It really is a baffling condition. The people I worked with were very nice and friendly without exception, the kind of people you would want to know and love to have as friends. It's just incredibly hard to do two or three stressful things at the same time. And then, of course, people with AS will complain about being lonely. People are both problem and solution and resolving that conundrum is key.
"Given only 12% of us are employed, I'd say that a lot of us quit."
I continue to have a go. These past couple of months I have landed three jobs, all of which involved the kind of tasks and contexts that could be designed to drive a person with AS mad. My advice is to focus your job seeking precisely on those things you can do and which you are interested in. At the same time I recognize that most jobs involve the kind of multi-tasking that puts an enormous strain on people with AS. It does with neurotypical people, of course, pushing their nervous systems to the brink. The point is that people with AS have much less resilience.
"I've given up working with people."
This is the great paradox of AS for me. People with AS want to stay away from social engagement, and then express feelings of loneliness. Any answers to this conundrum are greatly appreciated.
"I work at a used book store. I love it."
I have to admit, years and years ago I would visit second hard book stores and think these would be very genial places to work. You can explore the shelves, sit and read, chat with interesting ideas people, and get paid.
"It's not that I gave up ... I finally burned out in 2015. I just can't function in public anymore."
I think I burned out many years ago only to carry on pushing myself to extremes. The heart attack I suffered in December 2016 has all the character of inevitable fate. I have always struggled in public. Unfortunately, that's where most life is. Education was my escape from work. I could pass exams. Studying was the easy part for me. The hard part was the social engagement and exchange. It is amazing that I survived as long as I did and succeeded (in certain areas) as well I did.
In truth, I have mainly survived outside of the world of normal, regular employment. I frequently joke that I am self-unemployed, earning just about enough to keep me going, and giving me enough independence as to free me from the pressure of having to make the effort to return to the coal face. I worked for a short while at PC World. I kind of did the job, only my own special way. One afternoon the manager came over to me for a little chat: "you tend to do your own thing, don't you?" he commented. I do. I go my own way, when I am by myself, as preferred, or with others. When you work with others, though, deviance and autonomy are much less possible and much less tolerated. It is this need to respect social protocol that people with AS have trouble with. I know I did. This can leave you struggling to find a job, keep a job, pay the bills, and keep a roof over your head. The result is the kind of constant stress that brings on chronic health issues. It is hard-work and the many brick walls you run into can be heartbreaking. I would still encourage those who can to keep working and keep searching for the work they can do. If you fail, then do so forward and not backward. Embrace every experience as though you are on a learning curve, and try to learn from every failure rather than see it as the end of the world. The easiest thing to do is to retreat and give up in hopelessness. It is better to build resilience and develop a work ethic. It may be a good idea to volunteer and see what you are good at and enjoy doing. The end is to have a job where you may work tirelessly but go to bed happy knowing that you are doing something you enjoy doing.
I'll let you know when I find it.
