GIVING THE VOICELESS A VOICE
I was actually a very quiet person for a very long time. Or, rather, I buried my real self and portrayed myself socially as other than I truly am. Rather than say what I thought, I would joke and play the fool, and thus find a way of being accepted in the social group by pretending to be something I was not. All the time I silenced my real self, I had my eyes and ears open and would be taking notes on human behaviour. I learned lessons on authenticity, integrity, and honesty, and how these things come to be diluted and denied in social situations. I try not to dilute and deny these days, whilst still appreciating how social interaction and encounter requires a certain tempering and tailoring. You simply cannot be directly truthful and honest in social relation, at least not without discomforting most others and driving them away. The trick is to navigate the social waters without submerging your true self. Pretending to be other than you are in order to achieve social acceptance is, by definition, self-destroying. You exist socially only in the image of others. I found that the price of social acceptance to be the loss of authentic self; I found that I had to disarm myself and diminish my powers to next to nothing before certain others came to accept me. Many people are afraid of intelligence, learning, humour; play the fool and they will be happy to accept you, and treat you as a fool. I identified how the pattern emerges at school and can identify its signs immediately in interpersonal relations. If you have to keep diminishing yourself and curtailing your qualities so as not to upset other people, you need to exit those relations and find others who will appreciate your true self. Never mask and never mirror in search of acceptance: if people don't appreciate your true self, then they don't appreciate you, period.
Over the years I became more vocal, and hence came to be identified as 'difficult,' 'awkward,' and 'argumentative.' I often refused to play along with others' jokes and go along with group instructions. I stood out and took the flak. At the same time I noticed that I started to attract the quiet people, the introverts who shy away rather than speak up. One by one, they would confide in me that I give voice to the things they want to say, but can't. It's a loud world full of loud people who never stop shouting. I make no apologies for occasionally upsetting the loud-mouths. I know that I am not just speaking for myself, I am speaking for the quiet people who don't speak up and are routinely ignored on the few occasions they do.
Consider my observations rude? Think me 'difficult' and 'argumentative'? If you have any sense you will shut your mouths and open your ears, listen and learn. I know I am speaking for people who rarely speak and who are heard by precious few. People who know far more than the loud-mouths do. So I would suggest you listen.
