FELLOWSHIP AND FLOURISHING
This quote on the need for friendship is close to my heart, not least given that Fellowship and Flourishing is the title of my forthcoming book on J.R.R. Tolkien. If human beings as social beings need others in order to be themselves, then autistic people, as somewhat socially challenged beings, need those relations to friendly others even more in order to realize their potentials. They also require a supportive environment which gives them time and space to find themselves, identify their talents, and bring their interests and abilities together. The problem is that people can be as much a hindrance as a help in this quest for authentic being, working at contrary purposes, denying the autistic voice, passing negative judgements, withdrawing support and condemning autistic people to the margins for failing to conform to some impossible, inappropriate standard. The error neurotypical people make is to judge autistic people by neurotypical standards, damning them as 'difficult' and deviant when the inevitable reaction occurs. Autistic people should make sure to reach out to others and maintain friendly relations, but this cuts two ways. The evidence, sadly, is that neurotypical people will cut autistic people lose as soon as the going gets touch, which is to say, as soon as autistic people fail to conform to stereotype and express their interests, abilities, and passions in unexpected ways.
